Saturday, March 28, 2009
it's been a minute! Well I'll have you know I have been very busy and making PROGRESS! So I had my exit interview for Job Corps and I'm leaving Tuesday!!! That was fast as hell, I just knew it would be late April before I left, you know I'm kinda excited yet sad for some reason IDK I'm going to miss some people, but it's only for a year...It seems like long, but it's really not.....I'm nervous as shit about this drug test I'm going to kROGER first thing in the morning to cope that Sure Jell(perservatives) I'm praying that I pass this drug test if I don't I'll be placed on a 30 day probational period and be placed in Rehab and if I don't pass the 2nd one it's a wrap, but I don't even want to have to go through allat, I want to just pass and get this show on the road I been drinking water and I been in that fucking hot ass steam room and exercising like crazy I'm so exhausted but the benefits would be long term for this short term hassle so it balance out perfectly...I have turned down so much weed this weekend and it has been fairly easy, shit I gotta pee now I just drank 64 oz of water trying to get this thc out my damn system I hope it's just a urine piss test and not that damn hair shit because that traces your last 90 days if that's the case my ass is grass but I'm just keeping the faith and pissing accordingly! ciao.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
O.K SO I SLIPPED UP A WHILE AGO, MY BOY HAD SOME DRO I COULDNT PASS THAT UP, BUT HE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT SOME SHIT YOU MAKE JELLO WITH CALLED PESERVATIVES THAT WORKS THE NIGHT BEFORE I TAKE MY DRUG TEST FOR JOB CORPS, SO I SHOULD BE GOOD I TAKE IT IN 2 WEEKS I JUST AIN'T GONE SMOKE NO MO' FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD, GUESS I'LL JUST GET PISSY DRUNK EVERYNIGHT, SIKE!!! YOU CAN HAVE THAT SHIT!!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD HAVE SUCH AN IMPACT ON MY LIFE, BUT THANKS TO HIM AND "THAT BULLSHIT" I FOUND A PIECE OF MY MIND, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY......THANK YOU FOR SETTING ME FREE...IT FEELS SO GOOOD TO BE FREE YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH(IN PLEASURE VOICE LOL)...MY VOICE RATHER, I JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS A CHILD MOLESTER...WE DON'T DO THEM KIND...updated:12-04-2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
- 2 more references
- high school transcript
- 12 noon
So I just spoke with an admission counselor from Job Corps, and those are the items(in red) that I need to bring for "the interview" scheduled this Friday at noon. ... Just my luck now I have to wait all weekend for things to go through I hate this part and lord please grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change!!!
Since there is no JoB CorPS here in Nashville(THANK GOD), I have the choice of going to Florida, Texas, or Georgia!!! Maybe I might be in ATL afterall!!! Here lately I been thinking about the east coast and the west coast...."Ain't Nothing Like A Brooklyn Girl" I heard lol shit I remember Tanisha from Bad Girls Club POP OFF SON!!! lol Brooklyn go hard!!! JAY Z said it best......NEW YORK the fashion capital of the world vs. It never rains in southern California...I love warm weather my sun kissed skin is soooo pretty bringing out the natural redness in my REDBONE complexion, I love my ethnicity I would NEVER want to be white and just to think my former ancestors probably wished they were WHITE!!! oh look how far we've come I loved BLACK TO THE FUTURE!!! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN INTERESTED IN JOB CORPS....
BECAUSE OF THE DORM STYLE LIVING AND THE FACT THAT IT IS FREE OF CHARGE. WITH ALL THESE BENEFITS ONE MUST THINK TO HIMSELF:WHAT IS THE CATCH? The catch is actually getting into the program I met the basic requirement:16-24 years of age, income requiremennt(unemployed), DRUG FREE-"Oh no!!!" I felt my heart skip a beat when I came across the word drug. The thing about me is I have the tendecy to be obsessive/compulsive which is why I find myself in certain situations, because I just don't know when to quit, I know that you're supposed to balance everything in your life, I guess that's the "lil bit" of libra in me....you see I'm a scorpio(yeah so naughty and mysterious)AND HAVE BEEN A CHRONIC WEED SMOKER SINCE I WAS 15 YEARS OLD, POUNDS I DONE SMOKED A FEW!!! It has only been a week since I have last smoked any cannibus sativa!!!
Honestly, I don't know why I feel like I have to have it sometimes. True, it makes me forget about all my mishaps and past relationships but at the same time it is also apart of my problem "anything that is not a part of the solution is apart of the problem"-guy from SOBER HOUSE. The whole time I am high I am constantly craving salty and sweet foods, this phase is called the munchies; it's accompanied by a paranoid feeling that I'm being watched by some evil force that is out to get me(which is true:the devil comes forth to kill, steal, and destroy), my brain cells are also being fryed and short loss memory loss is MORE possible....I can physically feel the destruction weed is doing to me, but I still COULD NOT STOP. It is becoming easier and easier everyday for me, I just try to keep busy (twitter, myspace, facebook and now my new best friend, YOU) don't GIVE UP ON ME, don't walk out on me like a lot of other people have I NEED YOU.
SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?...
I thought once I walked across the stage to get my hard earned diploma that would be the end of that!!! So anxious to start college in another city meant soooo much to me. Not only did I have a fresh new start, but I had a "renaissance", or "rebirth". I was going to University of Tennessee-Chattanooga, not my choice, but my moms(which is the main reason why I was not successful, because I wasn't passionate about it) My first choice was Howard University, followed by Clark Atlanta, or Hampton in Virginia. At the time of my graduation I was 17 years old not yet legal to make decisions, so I comprised with my mom and went along with UTC; afterall, the apartment style dorms were quite elaborate and complimented my princess style. So it's my second week in school I'm not really feeling it, but my cousin went there with me so I was cool. Yeah this particular cousin was always the ho, and you know hoes always know where the green is! Sure enough it's a hot summer Sunday day and I'm at the annual Oak Street Roast grubbing on a hotdog that was on point lol I fucked it up and didn't care who was watching, the girls I was with trying to look cute and shit and acting like they were not hungry, because the lil fraternity dudes was out looking real good and GAY lol, nobody to impress in my opinion...So I had been asking the ho if she knew someody who had the green and sure enough she did! She whispered in my eye the girl behind me"Brittney Jordan" was gone slip a dime sack of weed in my pocket and to remain looking straight ahead so I did as I was told and five minutes later I had a dime sack of weed in my pocket I couldn't wait until I got back to my room, my cousins and their friends wanted to go riding around the city that night to see what was poppin' I knew not shit would be poppin' on a Sunday night in Chattanooga as I knew from the annual family reunions we had every year and still do in lame ass Chattanooga. That's part of the reason I think moms wanted me to go, because we have family there...so anyways I make up some lie that my stomach was cramping just so I could go back to my room and get started on rolling my blunts! lol I didn't have a car yet, so I don't remember how I got a cigar! oh yea I went to the lil town hall market where they sell em' on campus! lol just encouraging a nigga to smoke! Mind you, I'm still 17 years old not able to yet purchase tobacco, but you know a nigga like me gone be prepared to overcome ANY obstacle! As a result, I had my homie Nia's ID chingy!!! lol got my rellos and headed back to my room in the 4000 building! more coming soon...O.K TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT I MET THE WRONG PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THE FAKE ONES, I HAD END UP GETTING REAL CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH THIS FAKE ASS NIGGA WHO IS THE SHALLOW TYPE THAT CAN'T DEFEND HIMSELF AND IS SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT HIM, I THOUGHT HE WAS REAL EVEN THOUGH ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS I FOUND OUT HE WAS WORKING WITH THEM PEOPLE, HE WOULD TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK AND EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO LIE TO ME ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT, I QUIT MY JOB AT SUNTRUST AND LEFT IT ALL JUST TO BE WITH MY HOMIE, SO MAYBE I WANTED TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS, BUT HE DIDN'T SO THAT'S THAT ON THAT, I GUESS WHAT I LEARNED IS THAT SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LET IT BURN! NEVER PUT OFF YOUR PLANS FOR SOMEONE ELSE AND ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. ALWAYS! IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON NOW SERIOUSLY, I'LL WATCH OUT FOR THE SNAKES FROM NOW ON, I HAD NO IDEA GUYS ARE SOMETIMES WORSE THAN FEMALES! i TRIED TO ACT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED BUT I LEARNED IN PSYCHOLOGY WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE YOUR MEMORY FORGET ABOUT SOMETHING, YOU ACTUALLY WILL THINK ABOUT IT MORE, BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING YOUR MIND TO FORGET ABOUT IT, IT'S A REMINDER THAT SOMETHING INDEED DID HAPPEN! FACE THE FUNK AND DEAL WITH IT, HE IS NOT THE FIRST PERSON WHO HURT MY FEELINGS AND THE FUCKED UP PART IS HE WON'T BE THE LAST, I HAVE NO REGRETS AT THIS POINT JUST A LESSON LEARNED.-ASHLEY