ashley.

SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?...

I thought once I walked across the stage to get my hard earned diploma that would be the end of that!!! So anxious to start college in another city meant soooo much to me. Not only did I have a fresh new start, but I had a "renaissance", or "rebirth". I was going to University of Tennessee-Chattanooga, not my choice, but my moms(which is the main reason why I was not successful, because I wasn't passionate about it) My first choice was Howard University, followed by Clark Atlanta, or Hampton in Virginia. At the time of my graduation I was 17 years old not yet legal to make decisions, so I comprised with my mom and went along with UTC; afterall, the apartment style dorms were quite elaborate and complimented my princess style. So it's my second week in school I'm not really feeling it, but my cousin went there with me so I was cool. Yeah this particular cousin was always the ho, and you know hoes always know where the green is! Sure enough it's a hot summer Sunday day and I'm at the annual Oak Street Roast grubbing on a hotdog that was on point lol I fucked it up and didn't care who was watching, the girls I was with trying to look cute and shit and acting like they were not hungry, because the lil fraternity dudes was out looking real good and GAY lol, nobody to impress in my opinion...So I had been asking the ho if she knew someody who had the green and sure enough she did! She whispered in my eye the girl behind me"Brittney Jordan" was gone slip a dime sack of weed in my pocket and to remain looking straight ahead so I did as I was told and five minutes later I had a dime sack of weed in my pocket I couldn't wait until I got back to my room, my cousins and their friends wanted to go riding around the city that night to see what was poppin' I knew not shit would be poppin' on a Sunday night in Chattanooga as I knew from the annual family reunions we had every year and still do in lame ass Chattanooga. That's part of the reason I think moms wanted me to go, because we have family there...so anyways I make up some lie that my stomach was cramping just so I could go back to my room and get started on rolling my blunts! lol I didn't have a car yet, so I don't remember how I got a cigar! oh yea I went to the lil town hall market where they sell em' on campus! lol just encouraging a nigga to smoke! Mind you, I'm still 17 years old not able to yet purchase tobacco, but you know a nigga like me gone be prepared to overcome ANY obstacle! As a result, I had my homie Nia's ID chingy!!! lol got my rellos and headed back to my room in the 4000 building! more coming soon...O.K TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT I MET THE WRONG PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THE FAKE ONES, I HAD END UP GETTING REAL CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH THIS FAKE ASS NIGGA WHO IS THE SHALLOW TYPE THAT CAN'T DEFEND HIMSELF AND IS SCARED OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT HIM, I THOUGHT HE WAS REAL EVEN THOUGH ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS I FOUND OUT HE WAS WORKING WITH THEM PEOPLE, HE WOULD TALK ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK AND EVEN HAD THE NERVE TO LIE TO ME ABOUT SOME BULLSHIT, I QUIT MY JOB AT SUNTRUST AND LEFT IT ALL JUST TO BE WITH MY HOMIE, SO MAYBE I WANTED TO BE MORE THAN FRIENDS, BUT HE DIDN'T SO THAT'S THAT ON THAT, I GUESS WHAT I LEARNED IS THAT SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LET IT BURN! NEVER PUT OFF YOUR PLANS FOR SOMEONE ELSE AND ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. ALWAYS! IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON NOW SERIOUSLY, I'LL WATCH OUT FOR THE SNAKES FROM NOW ON, I HAD NO IDEA GUYS ARE SOMETIMES WORSE THAN FEMALES! i TRIED TO ACT LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED BUT I LEARNED IN PSYCHOLOGY WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE YOUR MEMORY FORGET ABOUT SOMETHING, YOU ACTUALLY WILL THINK ABOUT IT MORE, BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING YOUR MIND TO FORGET ABOUT IT, IT'S A REMINDER THAT SOMETHING INDEED DID HAPPEN! FACE THE FUNK AND DEAL WITH IT, HE IS NOT THE FIRST PERSON WHO HURT MY FEELINGS AND THE FUCKED UP PART IS HE WON'T BE THE LAST, I HAVE NO REGRETS AT THIS POINT JUST A LESSON LEARNED.-ASHLEY